Almost 3 weeks in, and time to go back to work. Hannah's grandfather has come and gone which was nice (for me and Andrea at least, I'm not sure Hannah is really aware of anything). Hannah is growing up - some things are changing and some things are not. She is beginning to last longer between feeds, which helps (at night), but she still cries on the nappy changing table and in the bath. Apart from that she only really cries just before she poops (it must be the effort or something) and then when she is hungry. And babies are very hungry!
So far she seems like a little angel and very easy; but i'm sure things will change. She is still really just a very very cute and adorable blob. Although a blob with arms and legs that can wave around quite a lot randomly, and a head that can bob up and down looking for food (we call it the woodpecker impression). She spends a lot of time just looking around, but not really seeing anything (her eyesight is not very good yet) so she does not recognize any people or objects. She just gazes, peacefully. She can make lots of facial impressions, but can't smile or giggle or anything (in fact, we are not sure she can even feel pain either yet).
We're going through lots of nappies. We're also very adapt at changing nappies anywhere - on a chair in a restaurant, on a sink in the bathroom of a mall, in offices and all sorts. It's not a big deal at all. We are also going through a lot of clothes though, as nappies don't seem to hold everything in it seems! but then the baby clothes are all adorable so it is nice to use lots.
And me? well, things are definitely getting into a routine now; Hannah is still beautiful to look at--and marvel at--but things are not quite so exciting at the moment. I'm sure things will get so once Hannah grows up a little bit and begins recognizing us, or at least recognizing objects so our playtime can be a little bit less one-sided (i.e. we play with Hannah, and Hannah is not really playing with us at the moment). Overall, it does not quite feel like being a dad yet, weirdly. I think Andrea definitely feels like a mum though - the labor was clearly a big deal for her and all that feeding is not something that she's been doing for the last 30 years :)
In general I still can't get over how amazing it is. A human being is able to create a tiny sperm and a almost-as-tiny egg and somehow, that creates a human being from nothing. One with an incredible brain and breathing system. In fact two breathing systems really. One where the baby can get everything it needs through it's belly button and then another where it can get it through it's nose (oxygen) and mouth (food and water). In fact, i have to say life is easy for us all after those first five seconds. Can you imagine the 5 seconds where you switch from living in a water bubble and naturally breathing and feeding through a tube in your stomach, to being squeezed through a small hole, opening your eyes in air, having your tube cut and having to use a nose and mouth for the first time; hearing sounds through ears for sort of the first time, seeing a hell of a lot of light and being manhandled, cleaned, measured and shoved in a very proud (but very large) woman's face. Quite a 5 second period. In fact if I had gone through that too, I might also be in shock for the next 6 weeks! In fact, apparently I was like that too once.
And somehow that turned into this. Which is also quite incredible. Though it took more than 5 seconds. An entire lifetime--changing all the time, though almost unrecognizable to the parents of course. Which is maybe what will be the craziest thing of all -- seeing such a tiny blob grow up, and yet not really seeing the changes. Every change, so small, yet they are happening. Probably not just to Hannah, but also unbeknown to me also to myself.
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