Sunday, July 28, 2013

Loyalty vs Respect

Ever since I've been in China I've thought about the issue of relationships in China: whether it is business relationships or personal relationships, both are somewhat different to what I've been used to, but only subtly.

For business relationships, yes, there is no doubt that in China you need to be-friend your business partner and many deals are done due to friendships; but in England it would be incredible naive to presume there is an entirely open playing field and that the show is not still run by certain people who know other people. After all "it is not what you know but who you know" is a western saying, not a Chinese one. And China may have more than its fair share of corruption in its business deals, for a mixture of culture and economic development reasons, but it's not like we are immune to this in the UK either - it's just we've spend a lot of time building up a culture where law matters, and China has not get there yet. With more time, some ponder that it might - others say its not possible as long as the judiciary is not independent or transparent (it does what the Communist Party tells it to do, hearings are short, decisions rarely explained, and the rulings and punishments rarely consistent).

But it is personal relationships that are more interesting. Previously I'd explained it thus: In England you'd be nice to people very quickly, even strangers, but it takes a long time before you can really be friends; whereas in China, you are not nice to strangers, but you can pretty quickly become close friends. This has never satisfied me as an answer though for a number of reasons. So, as I was thinking more about this issue, I came to consider the issue of respect.

In general--and it really is hard to generalize a country so diverse as China, but one must, so one will--there is a lack of respect for the environment, for others' space and for someone else's rights. There is a strong selfish streak, which may be driven by economic reasons. Now it is also fairly clear that many in the UK lack respect too; but that seems more out of immaturity and a strange intentional desire to annoy others more than anything else. But, as many will know, the Chinese care very deeply about their friends and family; one could argue much more than in the west where the family unit is weaker. I strongly agree with this, and thus it came to me that maybe it is worth differentiating between the concept of loyalty and respect.

Maybe the Chinese are very loyal, but not very respectful. Can that be possible? I'm not sure, but it seems to make sense to me: a strong caring for those one knows or needs to know to be successful, but not much consideration for anyone else. I'm not writing a book to explore this more deeply, but I'll think more about it and see if these are the right words to differentiate something that really is a striking difference between the two cultures. Now I wish the youth in the UK would respect others as much as the youth in China would do, and that there would be as little crime as there is in China; but these may be more about economic, judicial and historical reasons than from actual beliefs.

Evidence this might be true? Well, the fact that discrimination in China is rife (automatic feelings against those that are different, either ethnically, geographically, religiously, or according to language, wealth, disability etc) and seemingly impossible to overcome implies a lack of respect and a lack of willingness to respect others. There is a strong lack of respect for differences overall, partly inspired by a government agenda.

The challenge, if this is true, is how to encourage more respect, since there will not be sustainability without respect. And I'm working on sustainability... more thinking clearly needed but the idea of loyalty vs respect is an interesting one I think.

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Interested in what I'm up to? http://adam.nomadlife.org

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