Role reversal

One of Hannah's first words was "more". It was frequently said, whilst a shake of the head provided the alternative. A few months later she moved onto saying no, though still refuses to say yes (instead used a very teenager-like grunt). We quickly learned one of those tricks you don't find in a book: give the child two options and she'll often pick one of those (and the adult can give two good options) so avoiding the inevitable "no", or even better just tell the child what's happening/we're doing together (ideally making it sound really exciting).

So that was then. We'd be doing the asking and making the requests and she'd be responding. But now, since Hannah's vocabulary and sentences are picking up, she's the one asking us and we're trying to avoid saying no by giving alternatives (or falling back on the other big trick you don't read in books: the art of distraction). This is much harder since the consequences of a child not getting what they want are much worse than one not giving you what you want! The consequences vary but usually go through phases: the throwing of the head back if she's in your arms, the lying in the floor, the running away, the throwing of objects to the ground etc.

So it's been fun negotiating this and learning new skills to deal with Hannah. From the power of suggestive questioning to the art of prediction. Working out when and how to use carrots and sticks is a tricky one (it's not a good idea since then you risk getting stuck using that carrot or stick every time); more useful is the skill of giving the child what they want to get what you want. An example: let's walk on the wall to get over there. Of course as a parent we're always a role model and this can be used to one's advantage, e.g. follow mummy up the steps. Sometimes you can use a challenge or competition to get action, e.g. can you run up that hill or can you eat all 3?

In fact these and many other newfound skills are potentially very useful in other contexts too!

The last month has been very pleasant since it quickly became spring and then summer. So weekends are spent outside as always. Evenings often involve playing football or eating out, though not yet outside....though the evenings are warming up too. New projects have started at work etc.  I write this from Tianjin, where we've come for the day to walk around the nice colonial architecture and tourist markets. Speaking of which it's about time to leave the coffee shop, wake Hannah up from her nap and do some more exploring....